Sonntag, Januar 01, 2006
This is your chance ...
… for a tax refund
- (für deutsche Version bitte die Seite herunterrollen) -
Federal Department of Finance: New Tax Law
Form No. W-123
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF GERMANY
THE FEDERAL MINISTER OF FINANCE
TO: ALL MALE TAXPAYERS
RE: NOTICE OF NEW TAX PAYMENTS
Until this time, the only thing that the Government has not taxed is your sex organ. This is due, in part, to the fact that forty percent (40%) of the time it is just hanging around unemployed; twenty percent (20%), it is pissed off; thirty percent (30%) of the time it is hard up; and ten percent (10%) of the time it is in the hole. On top of this, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.
Due to the approval of the new budget by the legislative and the loss of revenue in the past years, it has become necessary to place tax on related appendages beginning in April of the succeeding tax year.
Your amount of tax will be determined according to size. Please confirm this information on page two (2) of your standard 1709 forms.
1.) Size: 10 to 12 inches, Kind of Tax: Luxury Tax, Tax Due: € 100.00
2.) Size: 8 to 9 inches, Kind of Tax: Pole Tax, Tax Due: € 75.00
3.) Size: 6 to 7 inches, Kind of Tax: Privilege Tax, Tax Due: € 50.00
4.) Size: 4 to 5 inches, Kind of Tax: Nuisance Tax, Tax Due: € 25.00
Organs under four (4) inches are eligible for tax refund.
Additional refund may be claimed if it is less than one (1) inch in diameter.
Please be guided accordingly.
Important: Do not request for an extension. Those exceeding twelve (12) inches must file under CAPITAL GAINS TAX because with this size, they get the maximum profit!
Since it will be necessary to authenticate sizes, further instruction shall be issued shortly on just how these measurements will be taken.
Bureau of Internal Revenue
This text was copied on our walkabout - talkabout and edited for Germany.